You might live in China if...

~The term "toilet paper" no longer exists in your vocabulary.  It has been replaced with "tissue" because you must always carry small packs in your purse and it is not uncommon to see a roll of tissue prominently displayed on a restaurant table in lieu of napkins.

~You find yourself thinking, "We need more tupperware...time to buy yogurt!"  because the small, "Greek" yogurt containers are about the most useful storage containers you've found.

~You go to a restaurant known for its better rice to buy three orders to take home (to eat with the dinner your roommate cooked) only to have the restaurant staff look at you like you have three heads and tell you that they don't have any...while they are serving big bowls of rice to each table.

~Every time you see a non-Chinese person that is not a member of your team (maybe once a month on a trip to the city), you find yourself staring unabashedly as the first thought to pop into your mind is "wai guo ren!" ("foreigner!") , followed closely with a "huh, what are they doing here?!"  All before you remember that they are likely (rightfully) thinking the same thing about you.

~You find yourself cursing the Stairs of Death on a daily basis - whether it's to class, at the supermarket, train station, a local mountain, or just getting from once place in the city to another.  Then after realizing that you have been climbing said Stairs of Death for seven months, you notice you still feel just as winded as when you started.

~You get excited when you see Roman script in public - it doesn't even have to be English.

~You no longer notice the prolonged stares as you go about your daily business in town and are quietly amused at how your Chinese friends react with shock at what a spectacle you are.

~Every time someone sees you coming and declares, "Oo-ah? Na shi wai guo ren!" (Wha..? There's a foreigner!") you confidently respond with "Shi a!" ("There is!") for the sheer purpose of personal entertainment.

~While in language class, you try to put a new spin on the age-old Chinese insult of "pig head" by changing it to "chicken head" only to be met with the gasps of your teacher who quickly declares that she is indeed not an organizer of prostitutes.  However, you still leave the class feeling accomplished having effectively learned the term for pimp.

~You are suddenly watching your step for leaky sewage and then notice that "it's only" a street vendor selling stinky tofu.

~Your spirits are suddenly lifted to extraordinary heights because you see sunshine for the first time in nearly 6 months.

~Every night when preparing for dinner, the question is "What do ya wanna eat tonight - rice or noodles?"

~Shoes that have puffy rabbit heads or shirts with giant, sparkly teddy bears (especially when worn simultaneously) no longer even draw a second glance from you.

~You are writing a blog post and use all the words that don't exactly fit together the way you'd like them to because you can't remember any words you would prefer...the vocabulary of your native language diminishes daily.

Malaysia - Truly Asia

So, after being lucky enough to have spent a couple of weeks in Malaysia during the winter break, I simply cannot understand why they don't have a better tourist slogan.  Maybe something like: Malaysia - Paradise.  (For serious, y'all.)

(Even more) Seriously though, the second our feet hit the ground, we marveled at the beautiful, clean, cheery surroundings - even at night.  Everything (from the buildings to the freeways) was clean, well-lit, and seemed to function exactly as its makers intended.  In the capital city, Kuala Lumpur (KL), we found all the western food we'd nearly forgotten existed for 6 months - Dunkin Donuts, Auntie Anne's, Wendy's, and even an amazing sushi place (ok, not exactly western, but I have so not eaten sushi in China).  There were amazing malls filled with beautiful things at unbelievable prices, including western sizes!  We even watched a movie in a real theater with popcorn.  We had a few days there before heading down to a little island in the South China Sea.

That smile is for real beef - holla!

Our bus arrived in the little, port town too late to catch the ferry to the island, so we had a night at the Golden City Hotel.

Let's just say that all 3 words in the name were pretty inaccurate.

Hey, but they're looking out for our safety! Pretty confidence-inspiring, eh?

The island (including all the wonderful people there) was more than I could have ever hoped for in a place.  Since words will always fail to give an accurate description, I'll just leave you with one of the (many, many) photos of the relaxation this place embodies.

Sigh, la la.

Of course, even paradise can have its difficulties.  We went on a hike through the jungle and after heaving (read panting and profusely sweating) our way up the mountainous, boulder-filled path and wading through the swollen, rushing waters (due to an over zealous monsoon season), we were told by our new local friend and guide that we could take the easy path back down.  On said easy path, I contracted my first leech.  Ugh - so gross.  We then made it back down through the jungle to find a bridge washed out.

The shoes came off again and we each (one at a time!) tentatively gripped the remaining bamboo poles with our toes as we shimmied across.  We followed the path a bit further down and got to the lagoon.  At high tide.  The boys encouraged us that now was our time to feel like Indiana Jones.  Now?  It was like they somehow hadn't experienced the picture above...even though they were right there with us.  Thankfully, the Indiana Jones task was a bit of a pansy romp compared to the trek we'd already endured - they simply meant we'd take a pontoon with rope pull across the lagoon, where sand and a nicely finished concrete path would guide us directly back to our beach huts.  Phew.  

Year of the Dragon

January 23, 2012 marked two very significant events in China - the much anticipated year of the dragon, and the (not quite as much) anticipated birthday of one of our colleagues, David.  Before leaving for Myanmar, Arianne and I agreed to meet up with him so that he wouldn't be alone overseas for his birthday.  In the meantime, he had contacted some old friends in Guangzhou, so we decided to join them all up there.  It seemed appropriate that the first Chinese New Year that we'd be living in China would actually be spent in China.

As Arianne and I flew into the city on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, we peered out the windows, amazed by the overlit city.  Lights of every color and intensity flickered and outlined buildings of every shape and size.  Then we noticed short bursts of sparkling lights shooting through the air some distance below us and realized that we were actually flying over firework displays.  Seeing something that is easily spectacular when viewed from the ground was amazing to see from the other side, high above it and through the clouds.

Guangzhou was unusually cold and we had not packed winter wear since we'd planned to be only in tropical climates while away from campus.  We walked out of the nearly empty airport and easily caught a cab to take us to the hostel where we were meeting up with David.  I gave the driver the name of the place in Chinese and did my best to be heard over the radio that was playing in addition to the New Year show on a TV screen in the back and white noise from a random, third electronic source.  He complained that he couldn't understand me (quite likely given all the other noises battling to reach his ear drums), couldn't read the address I had for the place, and then began loudly scolding me for not speaking Cantonese - his local dialect.  When we finally reached the hostel, he charged an additional 15 yuan (a little more than $2) for "fees" claiming there was a toll.  Tired of arguing and feeling belittled while competently speaking his official language instead of his personal preference of the local dialect, I finally tossed him the extra bills and muttered something to the effect of "Happy friggin' new year" as I ducked out of the car.

We met up with David and were soon comforted by the hospitality of the front desk staff.  The three of us sat around and caught each other up on what had happened during the past few weeks, effectively deciding to have only a couple days in Guangzhou before getting out of the cold and heading to the sunshiny warmth of Malaysia.  The next day - the actual holiday - was so cold and all the businesses were closed down, so we pretty much just hung out in the hostel lobby, watched the New Year specials on the TV, and booked tickets to our next destination.  My eyes had started to bother me a little, but I attributed it to the fact that I was once again in a cold, dreary place filled with unfamiliar pollutants/allergens.  Later that night, we met up with David's friends and tried to find a place for dinner - pretty impossible.  All the restaurants required tickets and far-in-advance bookings for their $40 and up meals.  We heard that the rest of the team (belonging to David's friends) were eating at an Irish pub and decided to try to get to that side of town to join them.

After running back by the hostel to grab our things (the friends generously offered to let us stay with them), and being warned that we were about to miss the amazing firework display (less intriguing since we'd seen the one from the sky the night before), we headed over and enjoyed the best (and only) home-style hamburgers we'd had in a good 6 months.  The GZ group took amazing care of us and it was so much fun getting to spend time with other Americans living in China, knowing they understood a lot of what we were experiencing.

The next day I woke up and couldn't see.  It wasn't so much that my vision was lost as my ability to effectively open my eyes was.  So, we headed to the warmest place we could think of (Starbucks, natch) and pretty much slummed it there all day - David and Arianne watching movies on their laptops and me in a benadryl coma, propped up against the wall.  When the GZ group called to meet us for dinner, a nice guy seated nearby overheard and offered to give us directions.  Turns out he knew our friends and decided to join us.  As amazing as the Italian food was, it was even more amazing to have the group gather around me and ask the Father for healing.  Our new friend asked me soon after if I felt any better and I responded a little facetiously with a quick "Sure," only to realize that I truly did.

After dinner, we decided to see the lights of Guangzhou before heading  back to the apartment.  It was incredible just to actually be able to see, much less to take in the enchanting surroundings.


Beautifully landscaped designs (like this phoenix) were on display to celebrate the festival.

 Fireworks are a traditional way of celebrating the Chinese New Year - the noise scares off evil spirits and the old Nian (literally "year") monster.

 Even the Canton tower was lit up in the colors of Spring Festival - red and gold.

The holiday was lovely, but I was far from sad to be back in the air and headed towards paradise!